Oh, man, my side split.
This is ridiculous! RIDICULOUSLY FUNNY, that is! You make me laugh everytime. Great conclusion!
Not the worst...BUUUT....
Whew, I see your trend of criticizing reviewers either trying to help or telling the truth. Despite that, here goes my review.
I love the idea of serious flashes. There definitely needs to be a contrast to the comedy on the website. But, as with comedy, there are rules to drama and symbolism.
Simplicity is good. This is something you did well. Complex is good only when done well, so it's good to stay on the safe side and stay simple.
The flash was way WAY too long. Think tempo, as a song. The movie should get faster as the dramatic action approaches. The only movies or cartoons that can get away with long pauses are ones that are very detailed and beautiful. In this flash, we didn't even have a face to look at. There was a hint of a face, shadowed, but if the camera is to focus on the individual, we need to see facial expressions, emotions. Was he jumping because he was sad? Was he jumping because he is mentally imcompetent? Or was it a hybrid, much like Ophelia in Shakespeare's Hamlet?
How is the environment? And by environment, I mean everything from geographic location to social, religious, and economic environment. You could give it an ironic twist and make everything brightly colored. Or you could keep it dark and sadistic. It all depends on the mood you wish to achieve, or the feeling you want the viewers to feel.
Choice of Images: Because there were no words (or words that could be understood. A majority of your audience probably doesn't know Japanese) your mood must be achieved through your visuals. Having the rising sun as your only visual can be a directorial choice, but I feel it was not. It could have been out of laziness, or because you just didn't know how. Anyway, in each scene, think of the object receiving the emphasis. Why does it have emphasis?
Implications of actions: Why does the principal character take the climactic action? What is the result of said action? What other courses might the character have taken? At the high point of the character's pain, what is important to that character? What is the state of the character at the beginning and end of the play?
One last point, as I have rambled on far too long. Divide that character's state of thinking into units. Therefore, facial expressions and emotions should emerge in a logical way that the audience can follow. Now, all of these doesn't have to be apparent to the audience, but it WILL help you understand the piece in a way that you know exactly how to make everyone feel.
That's all the tips I have for good drama. You can insult me if you like, but I have studied the master of symbols, Shakespeare, for many, many years. 'tis your choice to follow my advice.
Take care! And good luck on future flashes!
You've given me something to look forward to.
Your Ash vs. series makes me pee my pants every time. Literally.
*ahem* Anyway! This next version, at 20 minutes long you say?! I think I peed my pants again.
Okay, seriously now. Really. You're flashes are friggin' hilarious. All the best to you and your team! I can't wait to see it!
It's under 20 minutes. Somewhere between 15 and 20, we have one or two more scenes to get done. but yeah, it's a long one.
Very good, with great use of sound effects! The art was wonderful, too! (And quite an idea, I might add!)
The only thing I would suggest is to have more choices. Four or five would be good-- then this 'toon would be exceptional!
But, for my own part, it was Greek to me.
Yes, you're quite right, it is rather pointless...
But something can be pointless and still have meaning-- I know that's contradictary but good planning can pull it off.
Look for the flash on this website by TX2 called "Ash vs. Master Chief" It is VERY VERY random and seems pointless too, but it is very, very funny. Making something random and pointless can be fun, but only if it can be *understood*.
This is a cute idea, and it reminds me of those sticker books of the eighties I played with as a kid. The sword pointer makes it a little difficult to control what sprite I grab and where it is placed. The balloons are a little cheesy, too. Is there any way for you to make teh message in the balloons customizable?
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